Two
things happened today that have me reflecting once again on a
question I keep coming back to.
“How
is this going to turn out?”
By
which I mean: this life of faith, this walk with Jesus, following the
example of my King, my (largely untested) conviction that I am called
to suffer for and with my Saviour, that in so doing I participate in
his life and so become more like him – how is that going to turn
out?
The
first thing: I read a statistic written by a missionary that out of
150 Somali believers he had known when he moved to Somalia, eight
years later only four were still alive. If that statistic provides
anything close to the norm, that means that 97% of Somali believers
die for their faith. I felt like I'd been punched. Look how that
turned out for them.
Later,
I was at a barbeque for a youth mission team that came up to visit
our baby church. At supper, a couple of us got talking about this
trip largely being about teaching young people to really own the “as
you go” of the Great Commission – to see the spaces in every day
life to bless people with the love of Jesus in word and in deed. A
couple of the tweens in our church, who I think had just had a bad
day, got pestering us about method – are all these ideas found
*exactly* in the Bible? They didn't have conversations on buses, did
they? Finally, our preacher turned it around on them and said
something like, “Don't you think that as the apostle Paul went
about his life, he just used every opportunity to tell people about
about Jesus?” And one of the kids mumbled back, “Yeah, and look
how that turned out for him.”
And
isn't that our problem? Don't most of us, in our hearts, have that
response lurking? We don't say it – we know we shouldn't – but we
really wonder how it will turn out if we venture big for the gospel.
We know that at every turn the apostles were marginalized, were
beaten, were falsely accused, were thrown in jail. We know that they
found themselves in danger from governments and robbers and fellow
citizens. They shared the gospel. They were the first to do what we
are called to do. How did that turn out for them?
Paul
had an answer: “I will rejoice, for I know that through your
prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out
for my deliverance, as it is my eager expectation and hope that I
will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always
Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death.”
(Phil 1:19-20)
Paul
says he'll rejoice. That usually means good things, right? Check out
the word “this.” “This” is Paul's imprisonment. “This” is
Paul's looming trial before the emperor. “This” is the package of
difficulties that arise in the churches he can no longer care for
directly. All summed up, almost dismissed, with “this.”
But
then Paul says he knows how it will turn out: deliverance! Yay!
Oh,
but wait. “Deliverance” seems to be meant two ways by Paul. For
he goes on to say that what he expects is not some sort of “Suffering
– Been There, Done That” badge. What he expects is that he will
have the courage to honour his Lord in his life – or in his death.
He finishes by saying, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is
gain.” Deliverance may come when they unlock the shackles, or
deliverance may come through the edge of a Roman sword.
And
so here we find our answer. How did that turn out for Paul and the
other apostles? Badly. Very badly – if our eyes are fixed on what
we have here. Paul has a bigger picture. He wants nothing more than
to bring glory to Jesus, in life or in death.
We
want to know how all this is going to turn out. Even as Christians,
it seems we still ask “meaning of life” kinds of questions. The
answer to the question is not an answer, but an instruction. Pursue
Jesus. Believe that not one thing is beyond his control. Live for the
fame of his name. Then when others ask you, or when you ask yourself:
“how's it going to turn out?” your answer can confidently be,
“whether in life or in death, for his glory.”
